I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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