Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
