guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
