Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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