dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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