Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
