Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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