Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
