I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
