YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
