I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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