I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
