I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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