My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
