Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
