how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
