I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
