I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize