kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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