That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
