I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Girls should come with a carfax report
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
