Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
