Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish they made helmets for livers.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
