so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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