Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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