just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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