i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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