You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i came on her dog
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
