you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize