i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
