you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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