We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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