It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
