Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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