just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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