Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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