dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
