I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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