when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
