Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
