Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.

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(216): View more from Ohio

It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea

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(571): View more from Virginia

FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.

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