BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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