The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
