I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize