remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
