Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize