Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize