Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
