and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
