Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
