So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
