i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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