I'm so fucking centered right now
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
