When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
