Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
