he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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