Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
