Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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