I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
