O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
