My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just had sex on a roof
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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