I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
