i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
