pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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