dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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