I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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