I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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