I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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