I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
