Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
