it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
