I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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