Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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