Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize