Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
