just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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