It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize